Embrace Emotions and Boost Your Mood

Join me, Lindsey, on this solo episode as I navigate the intense world of emotions and brain health, sharing a personal update on my husband Thomas’s ongoing health journey. Drawing strength from emotions researcher Susan David, I reveal how understanding emotions can transform those tough days into opportunities for resilience. Learn research-backed techniques to differentiate your identity from your emotional states, bringing a new perspective to life's challenges.

As a support person to a loved one battling cancer, I've faced a whirlwind of emotions—sadness, anxiety, and everything in between. By recounting my experiences and drawing inspiration from Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, I’ll guide you through the process of naming emotions to help the brain's emotional and rational parts work together. Discover practical strategies like "Name it to Tame it" to manage emotional turbulence and explore how emotions can shine a light on personal values and boundaries, offering a path to growth and healing.

Lastly, we shift focus to positive practices that enhance mental well-being. From the joy of animal therapy and reminiscing on happy memories to the vital role of sunlight and physical activity, embrace the transformative power of simple habits. I share how walking with family and listening to uplifting music have become cornerstones in my journey to better mental health, highlighting how social connections and optimistic anticipation can combat loneliness and foster a hopeful outlook. Join me in crafting a life filled with motivation and joy, amidst the inevitable ups and downs.

Additional Resources:
•Check out The Brain it On instagram page for more tips and pictures of our medical journey 

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:03

Your brain is the powerhouse behind your life. On this podcast, we explore strategies to strengthen your connections, build resilience and navigate life's ups and downs, with a focus on brain health. Discover how understanding and caring for your brain can transform your relationships and empower you to face any challenge with confidence. Get ready to brain it on. I'm Lindsay, an instructor of human development and education, and in this episode we're going to delve into the science of emotions and explore a variety of practical techniques to uplift your mood. From the power of nature to the benefits of human connection, we'll uncover simple yet effective strategies to navigate life's challenges. Whether you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed or just playing down, these tips can help you find solace, boost your resilience and cultivate a more positive outlook on life. Let's get started. Hey everyone, lindsay here. As you noticed, at the start of this episode I did not introduce Thomas, or he did not introduce himself. Rather, it's just me this time. So before we get into the content, I want to share a quick health update and provide some context as to why I'm doing a solo episode. So Thomas was recently discharged from the hospital after his bone marrow transplant and all the healing that came after that, we were able to move into the Ronald McDonald house they call it the Rood Family Pavilion. That's at OHSU. It is a gorgeous space. We feel so blessed to be there started to get into the Christmas spirit. Thomas encouraged us to get a Christmas tree, and so when he said let's get a Christmas tree, I was thinking like maybe a little one from Hobby Lobby that would fit on a side table. But he had a different vision. He wanted a seven foot pencil tree from Lowe's and it's actually beautiful. And you know, when you have cancer and you have a Christmas wish, you win, you go for it. So I'm very supportive of our Christmas tree. I love it there. So we started going to as outpatient oncology appointments. We could walk right across the street and it was truly a really great setup for us. But unfortunately about a week ago I woke up with a scratchy throat and this is bad news. All of the training we did, everything we learned was that when Thomas is out of the hospital after a bone marrow transplant, he has to be very protective of his health. He really can't go into stores or be around other people. He has to play it safe because he has kind of this really young immune system that's just building up, and even a cold could have him readmitted to the hospital, and so I knew my throat was hurting. I had to get out of there. So luckily, we called his mom. I called his mom Julie she's so wonderful and she got my call and she said I'm going to figure this out, I will be there and I will. Tag team. I will be there for Thomas. I will be there and I will, you know, tag team. I will be there for Thomas. So Thomas's mom and dad drove up to Portland. I passed the baton, and now Julie has been taking excellent care of Thomas ever since then. It's been about a week. His dad left a few days after bringing Julie up, and he was he's a chef, so he got to make them really delicious foods. And now it's Thomas and Julie who are, you know, enjoying life together, watching Disney vlogs and other kind of spooky shows that I would never watch with him. So I know that they are really enjoying this time that they get to spend together.

Speaker 1 3:36

So this episode I'm doing by myself. I'm actually in our home in Bend and it's really wonderful to be home. I'm actually in our home in Bend and it's really wonderful to be home. I'm with our cat. Our cat's name is Kitty. She's snuggled up next to me. I'm recording this in my office where I used to record the other podcast, the Positive Choices podcast, and so I'm in a different space. I do not have the fancy microphone with me, the one that has the stand that you can't mic drop. I can't mic drop this one either, but that one is in Portland. So if the sound is a little bit different, that is why and I know that, dear listeners, you are definitely going to miss Thomas's laughs and his funny sound effects, but we wanted to keep the podcast going. So hopefully next week there will be plenty of sound effects, probably more than normal to make up for this week. So let's dive into the content now.

Speaker 1 4:27

In this episode I'm going to be vulnerable with you and I'm going to kind of let you in on my experience this last week as a caregiver, in a unique situation where I can't be around Thomas, I can't be around my loved one, and being sick I just have a cold, but it's kind of one, that's, you know. Hanging around, being sick and having to quarantine from everyone has really given me this chance to experience a wide range of emotions, and this ranges from sadness and stress and loneliness at the low points, and then even joy and connection at different points during this week. It's given me a chance, most importantly, to dust off some of my old tools, put them back in my brain health toolbox or mental health toolbox, and so that's been a good thing. So in this episode, I am talking about emotions and I'm highlighting some research back mood boosters as a refresher for myself and that will hopefully be helpful for you. So let's get started with some helpful context. We're going to be talking about the science of emotions and how to approach these days when we're really feeling off or down.

Speaker 1 5:37

To begin, I'll highlight something that is from a wonderful researcher. She's an emotions researcher, her name is Susan David and she's the author of Emotional Agility, and I was on Instagram doom scrolling, which is something that I do not recommend. It is not a mood booster, but I did come across a post from Susan David and she said this. She explains when you say I am sad, your identity becomes fused with the emotion. You become this gray cloud of sadness Instead. When you say I am sad, your identity becomes fused with the emotion. You become this gray cloud of sadness Instead when you say I noticed that I'm feeling sad. You create space between yourself and the emotion. You become the sky, and the gray clouds of sadness, that gray cloud, is simply passing through you. You are not the cloud, you are the whole darn sky. I replaced the word for darn.

Navigating Emotions and Self-Healing

Speaker 1 6:28

She also emphasizes just this importance of creating healthy space between ourselves and our emotions, and what she says directly in the post is create healthy space between yourself and your emotions so that way you can respond with intention. And it's coupled with two pictures. The first one shows a dot meant to represent a person, and it's in the middle of a storm, the lightning and the rain is coming down. And in the second image, the circle meant to represent you is above the cloud. So it's still raining, there's still a storm, but this is representing yourself being above it and looking down upon it.

Speaker 1 7:08

And I think that's something that I experienced over the last week, as I felt sad about not being with Thomas um, worrying about him. He's in the best of hands, both with his mom and with his medical team. He is in the best place he could be. But as I drove from Portland to Bend, a wave of sadness came over me when I was with him, my focus was very much task oriented All right, I'm here to help you, let me get your pills together, let me pass you your cup of meds, or let me help get your different things ready for the day of meds, or let me help get your different things ready for the day.

Speaker 1 7:45

And then, as I was driving, I realized that whole time that I was with Thomas I didn't really let the sadness come in. I mean, don't get me wrong, there were moments where I went on walks around the hospital and cried, and mostly with my family members I would call, but those were just little moments. And so for the last week I've been in this space where I'm not there, I'm not fulfilling these different needs, and so the sadness the sadness that my husband has cancer, the sadness that our lives have changed has started to sink in. And it wasn't until I saw this post that I was reminded that it's okay to feel sad, it's okay to feel anxious about the unknown. That's normal and also we can create space. So I'm experiencing sadness versus I am sad, versus fusing myself with that. And when I saw this, this is kind of what jolted me into this. Okay, time to get the podcast out, time to get the mic out.

Speaker 1 8:53

I started synthesizing and looking at different emotional resources. Now, this concept isn't new to me. In fact, when I teach at Oregon State University, one of the maybe first, second, third lectures, I have a quote from Susan David with this similar content about as an educator helping students say, or kids say I feel sad versus I am sad. But it was this really poignant moment for me of just feeling like I was in the rainstorm and I know that's okay and I know that's part of the human experience, to feel so, so immersed in a feeling. And I think, once you have the realization of whoa I'm in the rainstorm to be able to name what it is that you're feeling.

Speaker 1 9:38

Tina Payne Bryson and Dan Siegel excellent authors, researchers, psychologists. They have a book called the Whole Brain Child and one of their strategies is called Name it to Tame it. So when you say I'm feeling sad or I'm feeling overwhelmed or I'm feeling really upset at this driver that cut me off and merged when it was not emerging lane right I experienced that on the drive to bend when you simply name the emotion you're feeling, it helps your brain be more integrated, so it allows you to be more flexible, adaptive and stable, as you're not only operating out of your limbic system, where your emotions are, but now you're welcoming and integrating your prefrontal cortex, kind of that critical thinking part of your brain. Just by simply naming what you're feeling, now you have your prefrontal cortex, kind of that critical thinking part of your brain. Just by simply naming what you're feeling, now you have your prefrontal cortex, that wise leader, back on board. So that's really powerful, just to put a name to how you're feeling and it helps you get better at regulating those emotions and then making a step forward towards healing, towards becoming calm again and making a choice that's going to help your brain through that challenging event.

Speaker 1 10:48

Going back to Susan David's work, she has another powerful piece and she calls this what the funk, and that stands for what's the function of this emotion? So what is this particular feeling telling you? What's behind that feeling of frustration, sadness, joy, and then how can you move forward in approaching that emotion to help yourself through it? So, for instance, sadness, as in my example, the function of that was showing me okay, there's this feeling that I need to process. It's helpful, and maybe I need to reach out to a family member, which I did. Maybe it's time for me to text my therapist and get another appointment on the books, which I still need to do. But these different emotions can help indicate what we need to do and what we can do to help ourselves.

Speaker 1 11:36

Another example is, if you're feeling anger, the function of that might be wow, here's something that I highly value. This is helping me get clear on my values and this particular thing is coming against my values. Or maybe there's a boundary, maybe someone's treating you a certain way and your anger is indicating to you oh, there's a boundary here and now. It's my job to articulate that and decide what that boundary is. And there's beauty in this Once you can name your emotions, you figure out what you're feeling.

Enhancing Mental Health Through Positive Practices

Speaker 1 12:06

When you're able to realize okay, I am coming above, I'm not in the storm and in the rain, I can look down upon that and observe everything around me. And then, when you realize my emotions are a function of a need or a stance I can take or something I can do, then you realize, okay, I have the agency, I have the autonomy and I can make a choice through my behavior, through my actions and the way that I navigate a difficult situation in a way that's within my control, and, of course, we don't always have control. I can't instantly cure Thomas and I can't make myself heal from my cold faster Actually, I can, we're going to get to that but to a certain extent I can work on my healing. But there are things that are outside of our control. Now, as we move forward in our episode, let's talk about some things that you can control to help yourself when you're feeling a wide range of emotions. Now they may lead to, you know, improved immune system, which is certainly true when you exercise, when you connect with other people, when you get good sleep spoilers those are some of the tips. When you do these things, there is research that it does have a positive effect on your immune system. So while some of these might lead to instant and long lasting health benefits, others might just help in the moment and give you a little mood boost. So, whether you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed or sad, following these tips can help you manage these emotions and improve your overall wellbeing. Now I'd like to make a note these tips are intended to supplement and not replace professional mental health care. So if you are struggling with serious mental health concerns, please reach out to a mental health professional. All right.

Speaker 1 13:49

Number one animal therapy. Here's why it works. When you interact with animals, this can reduce stress, anxiety and depression, and there's actually been studies that show that spending time with pets can lower cortisol, which is a stress hormone, and it can increase oxytocin, a feel-good hormone, and, as this is happening, this can lead to reduced feelings of loneliness. Being with a pet can make you less lonely and it has this sense of increased social connection, which is, as we know, really helpful for mental well-being. They've actually done research at a specific university that I will put a link to in the show notes, where they had students college students playing with puppies. And can you imagine if that was your job at the college, as being the person who helps has students play with puppies to measure their stress? That would be amazing.

Speaker 1 14:40

So some ways that you can do this is just spend quality time with your furry friend. So when I came home, my cat Kitty was waiting for me at the front door and it was so lovely and I was able to give her food, give her some water and then just crash. But the next day I was able to snuggle up with her and petting her was really grounding, and that is something. When you are petting your cat or your dog or your lizard, whatever animal you have, this is actually helping you stay in the present moment. You're not necessarily it's harder to think about all of the stressors, maybe that you don't have control over Contrasting, that you're actually looking at your cat. You're probably talking to them in ways that you would never talk in front of other people all kinds of silly pet names and maybe different voices that I definitely don't use when I talk to my cat but as you're doing this, this is helping you stay in the moment with your furry friend. And if you don't have any animals, they've actually done research that watching videos of cute cats and cute dogs online can have similar impacts on your brain, and they have researched that. So furry friends, they're awesome.

Speaker 1 15:49

Number two is to rewind and replay. So why it works when you reflect on positive memories, when you think about really good times, maybe a special trip or even just the common memories. As I was walking into the kitchen, I saw our Keurig and it reminded me of coming into the kitchen in the morning and smelling coffee, and that's the way that Thomas motivates me to get out of bed. I have a hard time getting out of bed, so it has been a struggle since we've been away from each other. But he'll come and he'll kiss me on the forehead and he'll say coffee's ready. And so as I walked into the kitchen, I saw the Keurig there and I was able to kind of pause and replay one of those special memories, a simple one. You know, a lot of times we're chasing after the extraordinary when it's the ordinary moments that can bring us the most joy and that we can miss the most when they're not there. That's a concept that Brene Brown dives into in some of her work, but it could be a simple thing, or it could be a trip.

Speaker 1 16:48

We have different videos that I've made after we do trips, mostly ones to Disney parks, and so I watched some of those on my phone and that was really helpful. When you reminisce, this can trigger the release of dopamine, which is a neurotransmitter that's associated with pleasure and reward, and again, this can just lead to those feel good feelings of happiness and contentment. And you can do this by looking through old photos. You can listen to special music that reminds you of happy times of your high school, maybe, whether or not, those were happy. Or you can call a friend and just say, hey, I want to talk to you about that epic adventure we had, or let's talk about a certain memory, and I think that would really help me.

Speaker 1 17:34

Number three is sunshine and vitamin D. And this is really ironic because I am currently living in the Pacific Northwest and when you look at the forecast it's like rain and rain. Oh, no rain, but cloudy skies, snow, rain and so on and so forth. So, anyway, getting vitamin D not as easy as it is, say, in Florida, where my parents are, but any kind of exposure you can have, even getting a they have SADD lamps, so seasonal affective disorder lamps that simulate sunlight that can actually help you. So, whether you're going out and there certainly are times, don't get me wrong, where I can go out in the winter, especially in Central Oregon compared to Portland and get some sun on my face and my eyes, so that is a good thing being exposed to vitamin D through sunlight can help you have improved mood and regulate your sleep cycle. It's also crucial in the synthesis of serotonin, which is a really important transmitter that affects mood, appetite and sleep. So spending some time outdoors or using a light therapy box, especially during winter months, are ways that you can apply that strategy.

Speaker 1 18:47

Next, one future focus number four why it works. So when you anticipate a positive experience, this can actually boost your mood and motivation in the current moment. So simply making plans that you can look forward to can significantly benefit mental health because it can reduce your stress and it can give you this sense of hope. And the reason why this happens is because the anticipation activates the brain's reward system again, releasing dopamine and other feel-good neurotransmitters. Now, some of the most powerful ways that I can get excited and have these health benefits is when I think about upcoming Disney trips, but I know that is not a sustainable financial choice for me to lean into. So you can even get excited about making tea at night before bed, or get excited about going on a walk or calling your friend or your grandma I love calling my grandma. So those are things that you can look forward to on the calendar, um, and that can really help you. You can plan a fun activity, set a small goal or just maybe daydream about your future. Um, vision boards. I know they might sound a little corny, but they're they actually are amazing and they can be really helpful. We'll probably go into those in the future. We'll see what Thomas thinks about that. Here's the next one. Number five this is the one that I am saying to myself, and Thomas knows exactly what I mean by this.

Speaker 1 20:14

So quality sleep is essential for overall wellbeing. We all know this right. Adequate sleep provides so many health benefits, like improving your cognitive function, enhancing mood regulation and giving strength to your immune system, and this is because during sleep your brain consolidates memories. It can actually help you process those emotions in your sleep which blows my mind and it restores itself. And on the opposite side, if you don't get it, there's actually recent research that suggests that quality sleep can play a role in preventing neurodegenerative conditions like Alzheimer's. Some things you can do to enhance your sleep and really improve those health benefits in your life by getting better sleep is to establish a regular sleep cycle or schedule, create a calming bedtime routine. Maybe you start to dim the lights or you have a really beautiful soundtrack or music you play, maybe you have a cup of tea, take a warm shower and optimize your sleep environment. That usually means for Thomas, turning the temperature. So it's really cold and I laugh about this and I'm sure Thomas is laughing about this when he hears this episode, because I am not good about my sleep. It is 1030 as I record this episode and Thomas is great about getting in his eight hours. He said he has FOMS, which is fear of missing sleep, and I aspire to be a better sleeper like him.

Speaker 1 21:40

For this next tip, it is to walk it off. So walking is a wonderful form of exercise, but if you like to do CrossFit or Zumba, you do you. This reduces stress, it improves mood and it can boost energy levels. And this is counterintuitive, right, because you think I'm feeling sad. I know, I certainly felt this way. It's so much easier to click next on Netflix and keep binging your show or your YouTube vlog of Disney, which is definitely something that I do. It's easier to do that, but getting up walking it actually can boost your energy. So this triggers the release of endorphins, which are natural mood boosting chemicals in your brain. It can also increase blood flow to the brain, which enhances cognitive function, and it reduces symptoms of depression and anxiety. Even a five minute walk to your mailbox makes a big difference. So challenging yourself to do that more often, you'll probably find that it's going to help your brain and make you feel better, even though you might not want to do it at first.

Speaker 1 22:39

So a good way to do it is just to take a short walk outdoors or around your neighborhood. If it's pouring rain, like it often does in Portland, you can do an exercise video at home or invest in some rain jackets with what is something Thomas and I did. It was a great excuse to get new jackets and go outside and walk, even in the rain, and so I called my brother up or I texted him, rather and asked if he wanted to go on a walk today, knowing that I didn't want to walk, but having him there would make it more fun and a good motivator. So we went on an awesome walk around my neighborhood and found some new trails, thomas, I can't wait to show them to you. And we ended up talking about Disney Cruise Line, because they get to go on a cruise. I'm so happy for them. I have something that the researchers called Shoy, which is shared joy.

Speaker 1 23:28

Our next tip, number seven, is to connect and recharge. So social connection, as we know, is crucial for mental health. When you connect with a person in person or even calling over the phone, research shows that this significantly benefits mood because it reduces feelings of loneliness and isolation. Social interaction can stimulate the release of oxytocin, which is a hormone associated with bonding and trust. So even just calling a friend, a five minute phone call, can make a big difference. And again, you might think I don't have the energy. You might be thinking I just feel kind of sad and I don't know if I want to call someone up and make that call. But asking people hey, how's your life? Even just a simple inquiry about how someone else is doing can really create that social connection and maybe give you the opportunity to share how you're feeling. Now you might say you know I'm feeling kind of down, I'm not ready to get into it or discuss it more, although I want to, but it's just great to hear your voice. So that's something where you can connect. You can articulate that maybe you're dealing with an emotion and share that. Maybe you're not ready to dive into it just yet and that's okay.

Speaker 1 24:45

Our final tip, number eight, is to tune into uplifting music. Now, I am not someone who's musically inclined. I don't have the skill set to produce beautiful music or to sing in a wonderful singing voice. But Thomas does. He was a worship pastor, and I'm actually bringing him his guitar when I go back up to Portland as soon as all my symptoms are gone, so he can start to play music in the Ronald McDonald house. I'm really excited for that, and so you don't have to be a wonderful singer and you don't have to be a guitarist.

Speaker 1 25:17

Just listening to positive and uplifting music can stimulate the release of dopamine and serotonin. Additionally, listening to music can be a form of spiritual connection, which can provide comfort and solace. So some things you can do is you can create a playlist of your favorite uplifting songs or explore new genres that inspire you or help you connect with your emotions, and this can be a great thing to have on hand when you just need that, pick me up. When you need that, that mood. You just need that. Pick me up when you need that mood boost. Now, for me personally, when I'm feeling down or maybe my thoughts aren't aligned with the hopeful perspective that I desire, listening to Christian music can help realign my thoughts and give me a hope that's fueled by my faith.

Speaker 1 26:01

One of my favorite songs for this in my playlist is called show up, choose love by Toby Mac Thomas, and I talked about this before, but it's worth mentioning again because it's my pump up song. I'm not going to sing it for you because I don't want to do that to you, but the lyrics at the beginning go we've come a long way. We've been through some dark days, we've seen some things change and we shall overcome. It's been a long night. We need some morning light to get to the other side. We got to keep on finding ways to show up. We've got to choose love. We've come a long way and we got a long way to go. Let's do the next right thing and show up, and it goes on, so on and so forth. So that's a song where I'm like you know what I'm going to do, the next right thing. I'm feeling maybe stressed out about what I have to do today or whatever stressors in my life, but I'm just going to focus on the next right thing, and that's like a helpful mantra for me Now, as I mentioned before that songs that make you cry can also be helpful in healing.

Speaker 1 27:04

Another song for me that's so poignant that's called Eye of the Storm and it's by Ryan Stevenson. This is a song that when it started playing on my playlist when I was driving from Portland back to Bend when I got sick, the tears instantly started flowing. It cuts straight to what I was experiencing and I'll read you some of the lyrics. It starts by saying in the eye of the storm, you remain in control. And in the middle of the war, you guard my soul. You alone are the anchor when my sails are torn. Your love surrounds me in the eye of the storm. And this is so poignant for me because, with my faith and my relationship with God and Jesus, in the darkest moments of my life, that's when I feel him to be the closest. And the solace and the comfort knowing that he knows my future, knowing that he cares for me and knows the number of hairs on my head, brings so much comfort to me, even when I'm going through storms.

Speaker 1 28:08

In the lyrics to this song that are the most likely to make me cry, the true tearjerkers say when my hopes and dreams are far from me and I'm running out of faith, I see the future that I pictured slowly fade away, and when the tears of pain and heartache are pouring down my face, I find my peace in Jesus name. And then it goes on again to say in the eye of the storm, you remain in control, and that's something that we'll talk about in a future episode. The concept of seeing the future that you pictured slowly fading away. That resonates with me, because Thomas and I had this future that we were about to embark on. We were getting ready to try to have kids right before his diagnosis, and so there are so many things that I don't understand in this life. I don I understand that my faith is something that I can lean into, and so this is something that I will end on.

Speaker 1 29:15

The music that you choose might be very different, right, it could be of any genre, something that resonates with you. Again, I also have other songs that are like super upbeat and helpful in different ways, but it's something that brings me a lot of joy as well. In conclusion, remember that it's okay to not be okay. You are not your feelings. You can observe them, acknowledge them, discover what the function of your feelings are, and when you incorporate some of these strategies like connecting with others, moving your body, dancing to music or crying to it into your daily routine, when you do these things regularly, you can improve your mood and overall wellbeing.

Speaker 1 30:00

And again, if you are struggling with a serious mental health concern, make sure to reach out to a health professional. So I encourage you to try one or two of these tips and see how they work out for you. Maybe don't try to do all eight of them, but just find a couple of tips and try to make it attainable. While I'm currently apart from Thomas because of my cold, I am grateful for the support of my loved ones and the power of these simple strategies. I hope that these tips can inspire you to prioritize your brain health and find joy in the little things, and remember you are not alone. We're all in this together. You can reach out to us by clicking the link in our description in our podcast that says text us and you can send us a message and share your thoughts about our podcast. Thank you so much for listening to the Brain it On podcast and until next time, take care.